Dealing With Separation and Divorce

Dealing With Divorce Depression

2010-01-27T21:17:00.000-08:00

Some people have quite a hard time going through a divorce and rightfully so. A divorce means you have lost a very important relationship. It is not uncommon to feel as though your family is pulling you in many directions. You need to have the support of friends and family members to help you pull through the depressed stages of divorce. Here are a few more suggestions that may help you to deal with divorce and the depression that often accompanies divorce.

You should talk to others about what you are going through to help you get through the depression. As you talk about the divorce you will find that you feel much better. If you have children you need to stay strong for them. Dont let your depression take over. It is important that your kids have your support in everything they do as they are going through your divorce as well and it is affecting their lives too.

Your kids need to feel loved and important as you go through your divorce. They may also become depressed, if you suspect that they are you might want to get them into therapy with a qualified counselor. You can go with them to counseling and this may just pull you closer together instead of pulling your family apart with this event and the depression it invites.

Depending on circumstances you may find that your children need a bit of time to work things out on their own before you come together and talk about how things are working out. Recognizing hurt feelings is important to being able to let them go. It may take a while for everyone to be able to recognize their hurt feelings and act upon those feelings to move closer to healing.

Your divorce depression may end up defining the family, but that it when professional help is needed. In fact, it is a good idea (if you have children) to go to counseling with your ex too so that it seems like nothing is really changing.

You will want to also focus on other relationships that you still have. This is when you throw yourself into going out and forgetting the divorce. This doesn't mean you have to become an alcoholic, but you can also do things other than drinking. A casual drink with friends is healthy to catch up on life and things.

Spending time with other people will help you to get over your divorce depression. You and your friends can celebrate your life while you build better relationships with family and friends.

You can't rush this! You may seem very eager to move on, but it is a process. You are going to go through stages of fear and hurt, but in the end of the day you have to find your place. You will want to make sure that you do everything you can to make things better for yourself. Divorce gives you the perfect time to do some of the things that the marriage might have held you back from doing.

Contributor:
Colin P Kaye has been through divorce and knows what the effects are. You can read his informative book on divorce effects on child and obtain one of his excellent free reports at http://www.uberarticles.com/?id=15259&p=17

How Can I Get My Ex Back and Stop Break Up

2009-11-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

Perhaps, your ex suggested that he/she wants to break up with you but this is certainly not what you want. So, what are the things that you can do to make her change his/her mind and come back to your side?

Well, there are probably a number of different things you can do, depending on your situation. However, regardless of what kind of situation you are in, there is something that you must know.

Don't make the common mistakes that many people made!

Most probably, by the time you chance upon this article, you may have already made some of these mistakes. If this is true, do not worry as there are still things that you can do to reverse the situation.

And do not blame yourself, because we can't avoid making mistakes when we are feeling emotionally low.

So, what are those common mistakes?

There are many of them and we won't be able to discuss them all in this article.

Some examples are calling your ex again and again, arguing about the break up, professing your undying love, begging your lover to come back to you etc.

Of course, there are many more mistakes than those mentioned above. But what is really important is that you know why they are considered mistakes.

First, they are all signs of desperation and panic. If you commit any of those mistakes above, you ex will perceive you as someone who is desperate. Nobody wants to have a desperate lover. So, you must be aware of those mistakes mentioned above and avoid committing those mistakes.

Contributor:
http://www.squidoo.com/magic_of_making_up_now

Moving Beyond Your Divorce

2009-11-19T20:08:00.000-08:00

There is no way around it; divorce is a painful process to go through. Even when the relationship has been on a downward spiral and both parties have been miserably unhappy, ending the relationship with a divorce is a tremendous loss on both sides. Many who go through a divorce will grieve the loss of the partnership in the same way one grieves for a person who has died. In some cases, more years together will result in a greater sense of loss and abandonment when the divorce takes place. For others, even the end of a newer marriage can trigger similar feelings, with grief for the loss of a companion during a divorce compounded by the shattered dreams and hopes of the life together that was anticipated. If you are currently going through a divorce, or still reeling from a separation that is now legally complete, there are people who can help.

The Divorce Process

The main person who will help you get through the divorce process itself can be your divorce attorney. Your divorce attorney will see to it that your rights are protected, your property is divided fairly and your children are well cared for. Sometimes simply knowing that your divorce is in the able hands of your attorney gives you the necessary confidence to make it through the process. Your divorce attorney can even guide you through a mediation and amicable divorce agreement so you can avoid the stress of court altogether. This is especially true if you have children involved in the process and you are concerned about whether their rights are being protected under divorce law. If you need further assistance dealing with your divorce and don't know were to turn, your divorce attorney may also be able to point you in the direction of a competent individual who can help you work through the many negative emotions you are reeling from.

Support Groups or Group Therapy

If the pain and loss are not getting any easier after the divorce process is complete, it might be time to consider joining a support group or group therapy. There are many divorce support groups in every area of the country, so you should be able to find one that you are comfortable with and that works well with your schedule. If you are unsure where to look for these groups, you might ask your divorce lawyer that handled your divorce proceedings for a recommendation. At the very least, you may take comfort in the fact that others are experiencing similar situations. You may also get sound advice from people who have gone through the process before you and have learned methods of coping with the situation through their own experiences.

Divorce is a challenging situation that can bring up feelings of abandonment, loneliness, anger and even grief. Don't try to go through the process alone. If you are unsure where to turn, ask your divorce attorney for assistance in getting the support you need to survive this difficult process.

Contributor: Brad Jefferson
Brad Jefferson has worked with many couples and individuals dealing with divorce. If you are going through a divorce, he highly recommends the Attorneys at the law firm of Persily & Associates.
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Useful Advice on Divorce from Family Lawyers

2009-10-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

Divorce can be appalling and baffling, especially if you don't realise the facts about what the Court is required to award you in a divorce. You can sidestep needless trips to court and constant hassles by analysing these ten most commonly discussed questions and the answers put forth by Australia's divorce lawyers.

1) My wife and I don't get along. How do we go about getting a divorce?

Divorce in Australia is a serious undertaking. The Court wants to be sure you've exhausted every avenue to try to repair damage in your marriage before granting permission to dissolve this sacred bond. Therefore, before you can apply for divorce you and your spouse must be separated for 12 months and one day.

2) I caught my husband having an affair, and I want a divorce. Will the Court take this into consideration in our divorce proceedings?

Divorce in Australia is no-fault, meaning the court doesn't look into why the marriage has dissolved unless his actions have somehow taken away from the assets in the marriage.

3) My husband and I tried to work things out. We separated, then reconciled for two months, but it didn't work out. How does this effect the mandatory separation time?

Because the Court is all for trying to work things out they have provided for such a situation in divorce proceedings. Therefore, you can reconcile as man and wife for one period of three months during your separation without restarting the waiting period. The time you spent separated before and after will be taken into consideration as one time period.

4) My wife and I are separated, but because of money problems, still live in the same home. Will the Court agree that we're separated?

Yes, you can technically live together and also be separated, but you have to provide adequate proof to the court that your marriage has broken down. In this case, the Court will ask for you, your spouse, and a third party to submit an affidavit. The affidavit should address such issues as the reason behind your shared living status (if any), your sleeping arrangements, financial situation, and arrangements made for children, if any.

5) I want a divorce, but my spouse has disappeared and can't be located. Can I still get one?

Yes, you can. Divorce in Australia can be filed by either a single party or both spouses together. As long as you can prove that you've been separated for 12 months and 1 day and that there's no chance of reconciliation you can file for a divorce. However, you'll have to make an effort to contact your estranged spouse and be able to prove to the court in an affidavit that you've done so.

6) We were married outside of Australia, but I'm an Australian citizen. Can I get an Australian divorce, or do I need to go to the country we were married in?

There's no need to travel. If you are an Australian citizen or resident you can file for divorce here. If your marriage certificate isn't in English you will have to employ a professional translator to translate it. The translator will need to submit an affidavit of his qualifications, the exact wording of the certificate and an original copy of the certificate.

7) We've been married for less than two years, but we want a divorce. How do we go about getting one?

To acquire a divorce hearing after being wed for less than two years you still need to prove a 12 month and 1 day separation in the same way as couples who have been married for longer. However, because of the short period of time you've been married the Court wants you to be absolutely sure that your marriage can't be saved. You will have to go to additional lengths to work on fixing your marriage by participating in counseling.

Before you can file for divorce, you and your spouse must attend counseling sessions with a family counselor to discuss possible reconciliation and reasons for dissolving the marriage. You then must present a counseling certificate to your lawyer and the court.

If you can't attend counseling for some reason, such if your spouse has relocated and you can't find them, you must file a form with the Court to get special permission to apply for a divorce.

8) Do we have to appear at the court date?

No, not unless you have children under the age of 18 years or have been married for less than two years. However, you might want to appear anyway to make sure that matters are taken care of the way you expected.

9) I want to remarry as soon as the divorce goes through. How long do I have to wait?

The court must be satisfied that there is no chance of saving your original marriage before you can remarry. A lot of people believe they'll get to their court date and be free to remarry. That's not always the case. The Court might request further proof that you've done everything you can to save the marriage but it's still inharmonious. In that situation you will need to attend further Court dates until the Court's questions have been satisfied.

If the Court doesn't ask for more information and has been satisfied with the information presented, you will be presented with an order called the 'decree nisi for dissolution of marriage'. This order lasts for one month, so during that time if the party wishes to remain married, the decree nisi is dissolved and the divorce does not take place. After the month term the divorce is finished and the individuals are free to remarry.

So in a nutshell, before you can remarry you must:

* Be separated for twelve months and one day.

* Satisfy the Court with appropriate information that your marriage is irreconcilable.

* Wait out the 'decree nisi for dissolution of marriage' month period.

10) What if we have children together? Can we still get a divorce?

Yes, the court will grant you a divorce only if you have made the proper arrangements for the children before applying. You must consider where the children will live, what money arrangements have been made, and visitation between the children and both parents.

If you can't settle these issues then the Court will have to do what's necessary to secure what's best for the welfare of your children. The Court takes into consideration the children's wishes, their relationship with you and your spouse, the children's maturity level and needs, and protection of the child against physical and mental abuse if applicable.

In Conclusion.

Everyone would rather have a happy marriage than divorce. However, when relationships go awry it's important to know the facts about divorce so you and your children can avoid friction and tension.

About the Author:
Julie Davidson

Divorce Online Paralegal Services at Affordable Costs

2009-10-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

As the number of divorce is increasing, divorce online services become easily available. Nowadays, people wishing to get more information about divorce and to file for divorce online have many ways to do so. The online divorce lawyers are able to inform the persons of the relevant divorce laws and advise them of their rights and options. While online divorce choice have made the divorce procedure much more easier in some instances, people should consider it is not as easy as simply sending money and becoming registered and becoming divorced.

Most of divorcing Americans may be logically drawn to divorce online options because of the user-friendly straightforward information and support that can be found on the Internet. Not all online divorce websites give you the chance of actually going through the divorce procedure, but simply offers information in a manner that can sometimes minimize additional stress of seeking out all the information from legal experts. Once the information has been assembled and a practiced and reputable divorce attorney has been chosen, the individual will be better prepared to begin the divorce process.

Few types of divorce online websites take care of the documents that are involved in divorce. Based on the state and its'' divorce laws, divorce online processes can vary. Divorce laws have changed over the years by appearing more relaxed, which allow online divorce options to be greater. Regardless of the accessibility of online divorce, expert attorneys caution those interested in looking for an divorce. online There are so many constrains involved in divorces that can easily be overlooked if opting an online divorce.

As intended by some divorce online websites, benefits of online divorces can include a lesser degree of emotional distress, complications, and financial strain. The online divorce informational websites can largely help people trying to learn their state’s laws and to see what the divorce process involves. In addition, if divorce is a probability, there are safeties measures people can take to best assure they are entitled to their share of the divisions.

The legal process of divorce is few things you will live through-but the financial actuality is what you will have to live with for the rest of your life.

About author: Frank Miller
Frank Miller is originator of www.legaldivide.com,Florida online Divorce,Online Divorce Florida an Online Divorce company, any one who is looking Divorce Online , wants quick divorce or wants to use our services like Online Divorce Florida, Florida Online Divorce,Quick Divorce, Uncontested Divorce,Divorce Online, Florida Divorce, Online Divorce contact also for SEO Services India

Divorce Laws: Making A Clean Break Easy

2009-09-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

Divorce is a painful and extremely difficult process. Knowing how divorce laws function and understanding the court’s role in a divorce can help to make this transition smoother and easier, however.

Divorce laws govern the dissolution of a marriage. Every country has its own laws regarding divorce and, in fact, divorce laws can vary from state to state or province to province within a nation. Knowing your jurisdiction’s divorce laws can keep a bad situation from becoming worse, and save you future turmoil.

In the United States, divorce laws, in general, provide two basic forms of divorce: fault based and no-fault based. However, even in some jurisdictions whose divorce laws do not require a party to claim fault of their partner, a court may still take into account the behavior of the parties when dividing property, debts, evaluating custody, and support.

Fault-based divorces can be contested and may involve allegations of collusion of the parties, connivance, or provocation by the other party.

In a no-fault divorce, the dissolution of a marriage does not require an allegation or proof of fault of either party. Forty-nine states have adopted no-fault divorce laws, with grounds for divorce including incompatibility, irreconcilable differences, and irremediable breakdown of the marriage. New York is the sole exception divorce laws there still require a proof of fault.

About 95 percent of divorces in the US are "uncontested," because the two parties are able to work out an arrangement concerning property, debt, children and support issues. When the parties can agree and present the court with a fair and equitable agreement, approval of the divorce is almost guaranteed. If the parties can’t work out their differences, divorce laws govern the fair and equitable disposition of these issues.

Divorce laws generally recognize two types of property during property division proceedings - marital property and separate property. Marital property consists of property that the spouses acquire individually or jointly during the course of marriage. Under divorce laws, separate property constitutes any property that one spouse purchased and possessed prior to the marriage and that did not substantially change in value during the course of the marriage because of the efforts of one or both spouses. Under modern divorce laws, separate property is returned to its original owner, while marital property is divided according to negotiated settlement and what the court deems equitable.

In cases involving children, divorce laws attempt to ensure the matter does not spill over into the family court system. In many jurisdictions, divorce laws require divorcing parents to submit a parenting plan spelling out each party’s rights and responsibilities.

Divorce laws also provide for the establishment of alimony, often depending on the length of the marriage and other factors. Spousal support is becoming less common, however, as more women are entering the workforce and earning their own income.

Author:
Elijah James has over ten years of experience in family law, and shares all his secrets on Divorce Laws on his new website www.webfamilylaw.com

What are the Different Ways of Getting a Divorce?

2009-08-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

Introduction

Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. Divorce existed in antiquity, dating at least back to ancient Mesopotamia and was granted only because one party to the marriage had violated a sacred vow to the "innocent spouse. Divorce before the 1920's was based on the husband not providing 'life' necessities' for his child and wife.

Often, however, the spouses disagree about the terms of the divorce, which can lead to stressful and expensive litigation. Divorce mediation is an alternative to traditional divorce litigation. Divorce mediation can be significantly less expensive than litigation.

Divorce

Less adversarial approaches to divorce settlements have recently emerged, such as mediation and collaborative divorce, which negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts.

No Fault Divorce

Under a no-fault divorce system the dissolution of a marriage does not require an allegation or proof of fault of either party to be shown. Common reasons for no-fault divorce include: incompatibility, irreconcilable differences, and irremediable breakdown of the marriage. Forty-nine of the United States have adopted no-fault divorce laws. Fault divorces used to be the only way to break a marriage, and people who had differences only had the option to separate (and were prevented from legally remarrying). Fault divorce can affect the distribution of property, and will allow an immediate divorce, in states where there is a waiting period required for no-fault divorce.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is becoming a popular method for divorcing couples to come to agreement on divorce issues. In a collaborative divorce, the parties negotiate an agreed resolution with the assistance of attorneys who are trained in the collaborative divorce process and in mediation, and often with the assistance of a neutral financial specialist and/or divorce coach(es). Once the collaborative divorce starts, the lawyers are disqualified from representing the parties in a contested legal proceeding, should the collaborative law process end prematurely. Most attorneys who practice collaborative divorce claim that it can be substantially less expensive than other divorce methods (regular divorce or mediation). Furthermore, there are no set enforceable timelines for completion of a divorce using collabrative divorce.

Divorce Mediation

In a divorce mediation session, a mediator facilitates the discussion between the husband and wife by assisting with communication and providing information and suggestions to help resolve differences. At the end of the mediation process, the separating parties have typically developed a tailored divorce agreement that can be submitted to the court. The terms of the divorce are also determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses have agreed on privately.

Other Considerations

In their detailed analysis of divorce rates, Kuhn and Guidubaldi conclude that acceptance of joint physical custody may reduce divorce. There are significant emotional, financial, medical and psychological implications of divorce. A defense is expensive, and not usually practical as eventually most divorces are granted. It is estimated that upwards of 95% of divorces in the US are "uncontested," because the two parties are able to come to an agreement (either with or without lawyers/mediators/collaborative counsel) about the property, children and support issues. When the parties can agree and present the court with a fair and equitable agreement, approval of the divorce is almost guaranteed.

About the Author:
Trevor Kassulke owns and operates http://www.divorcedotcom.com How To Get A Divorce.
For more information, see Causes Of Divorce

Quick Divorce Settlement- Reveal Your Tensions

2009-07-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

Life is a journey of mistakes and resolutions. A decision needs not to be correct every time and when it is incorrect, suffering starts. Marriage is not a compromise or commitment by a couple rather it’s the establishment of an intimate relationship between a lady and a gent that ties them physically and mentally. Since, marriage is such an important need, therefore choice of perfect and imposing life partners rectifies and improves your morale fully. But, now such a beautiful lovable entangled relationship has become a commitment. The devilish behavior of one diminishes the other's hope in continuing the further lasting of this relationship. So, the ultimate approach is disappointment, repent and sadness. Now, the governmental laws have manifested a new method to get rid of your undesired choice. If your life partner is suspicious, then solution is always there without too much thinking. The solution is 'Divorce'. Quick divorce attempt is a very simple way of resolution of every agitation. The procedure is simple, easy, demure and quit.

Married couple taking divorce has to wait a long period of time if they not agree on their property partitions of legal formulations that create obstructions. Legal divorce is taking long time and problems are coming sequentially. Sometimes, couples are becoming old and then their case is presenting in the court. Appeal for divorce in court to get judgment in a short time period is delusion. For ease and leniency, online divorces are endorsements. Quick divorce through uncontested divorce method is the simplest way to get rid of the unwanted. Quick divorce reduces the callousness behaviors of lawyers and simplifies the uncontrollable circumstances.

Uncontested quick divorce is mostly the choice of couples who want divorce. You need not to wait for your turn to come. Quick divorce process relieves the people from time wastage and continuous cascades of money. In court, there is too much diplomacy which takes your lot of time and produces unsatisfied results. Online quick divorce process in few good websites with simple and lenient formalities. Legal contested divorce becomes a huge topic and people are using it as a way for their self entertainment while online divorce is confidential and public exclusion makes it more choosable. Quick divorce procedure proves to be advantageous, legal and perpetuate relief.

Austensious relationship cannot satisfy you spiritually, it compels you to be happy physically. Now, leave all types of and use the quick divorce online facilities to be happy and peaceful living. Quick divorce is very helpful for hiding your disapproval and it is under surveillance.

About the Author:
Frank Miller is originator of www.legaldivide.com, Uncontested Divorce an Online Divorce company, any one who is looking Quick Divorce Settlement, wants quick divorce or wants to use our services like Online Divorce Florida, Florida Online Divorce,Quick Divorce, Uncontested Divorce, Divorce Florida,Divorce Online, Florida Divorce, Online Divorce.

Techniques for Discovering Hidden Assets and Unreported Income During the Divorce Process

2009-07-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

Financial issues involved in a divorce - especially high net worth cases - can often become rather complicated. Unreported income and hidden assets are often alleged in divorce proceedings, usually by the spouse who is either not running a business or has not been in charge of the family finances.

It is not uncommon for a spouse to hide assets, especially if the divorce has been planned for quite a while. People hide assets for a variety of reasons, but essentially, they have property or money that they do not want to have discovered.

There are numerous ways to find hidden assets, but typically assets are either placed in the hands of third parties or behind false documents. The process of finding assets or proving unreported income is often one of the most difficult assignments during the divorce process. Being familiar with ways individuals move assets into the hands of third parties or behind false documents and techniques to find those hidden assets can result in the discovery of this property.

The cost of such discovery work must be weighed carefully against the potential benefits. It is important for a budget to be planned for two levels of investigation. At the first level, formal discovery procedures such as interrogatories, depositions, subpoenas, requests to produce and motions to compel can provide information to review and analyze the marital and non-marital estates.

If an individual does not have a detailed list of assets and debts along with documents to prove the whereabouts of these assets, the discovery in identifying the “easy to find” estate can become costly. At this point, a decision has to be made as to whether further money should be spent on the second level of discovery, which investigates and traces transfer of ownership of assets into other individuals’ or entities’ names.

Is the cost of the investigation worth the potential value of the assets which are assumed, at this point, to be hidden? Through diligent and effective preparation, it is possible to discover assets not disclosed or acknowledged by the other party. It is important to create realistic expectations with the client as to the ability to discover assets which have been actively concealed, and the reality that - despite best efforts - it is sometimes impossible to locate willfully hidden assets.

In divorce situations, careful consideration must be given to answer any questions about about potential hidden assets. What types of assets may be hidden? How are assets hidden? What techniques can be used to locate hidden assets?

WHAT ASSETS MAY BE HIDDEN?

The most common types of assets hidden are cash, bonds, mutual funds, cash value in insurance policies and variable annuities, stocks, travelers’ checks, Series EE savings bonds, and bearer municipal bonds.

Conversion of cash into personal property such as art, jewelry, collectibles, antiques, vehicles, boats and planes are also possibilities. Hobby equipment, gun collections, original paintings, collector quality carpets and tools are examples of asset conversion that often are overlooked or undervalued.

HOW ARE ASSETS HIDDEN?

Methods of concealing assets are as varied as the personalities of the individuals involved. In their attempts to veil assets, spouses may often involve relatives or acquaintances who may or may not be aware of their complicity in the diversion of personal assets. It is not unusual to discover the placing of personal possessions or investment certificates into safety deposit boxes in the name of a family member or friend.

Paying down mortgages and credit card balances is yet another method of hiding funds in plain sight. Repayments of phony debts to friends or relatives can appear to be legitimate use of resources. Expenses for paramours such as gifts, travel, rent or tuition for college or classes may be disguised as valid outlays of funds. Assets may be transferred into the name of another family member, friend or corporate entity.

Custodial accounts established under a child’s social security number as well as transfer of assets into pension, profit-sharing, 401(k), and Keogh plans are all strategies for cloaking liquid assets from the opposing party’s view. Employees can work in collusion with their employers to delay business contracts, raises or bonuses until after the divorce.

The transfer of large sums of money to trusts is one way individuals may attempt to disguise assets. Another is to gift money to individuals with the anticipation of having the money returned at a later date. These patently deceptive strategies may be fraudulent as well.

Spouses who own businesses may use the corporate entity to conceal assets. Skimming cash from the business, paying salary to nonexistent employees and then voiding the checks after the divorce, and paying salaries or fees to relatives or close friends for services that may never have actually been rendered then receiving the money back after the divorce is final are all strategies used by business owners to veil cash.

The value of a business prior to a divorce can be lowered artificially by delaying the signing of lucrative long-term business contracts until after a divorce settlement is reached. Unreported income on tax returns and financial statements can reduce the perceived value of a business to the detriment of the other party in the divorce.

WHAT TECHNIQUES CAN BE USED TO LOCATE HIDDEN ASSETS?

Prior to searching for hidden assets, the investigator must have accurate and timely personal identification information for the other spouse. This includes full legal name and variations (nicknames, abbreviations, common misspellings) as well as known aliases. Current and recent address information is essential. While some searches only need the name and not the address, it is always good to have both pieces of information.

Because assets may have been transferred to family members, the names and addresses of close relatives, their social security numbers and dates of birth will be valuable information in tracing movement of property or cash between the spouse and family.

Specific questions may reveal the likelihood of hidden assets evident through lifestyle. Does the spouse travel? If so, where? In what type of hotels do they stay, and what are their activities as they travel? Who makes up their group of friends and what type of people are they? Does the spouse get an automatic transfer of funds or an allowance? Does the spouse deposit a paycheck into a separate account?

Other telling information can be gleaned from answers to questions such as these. Is a credit card statement being mailed to the spouse’s work address? Are large amounts of cash floating around? Is cash used to pay for purchases? Who are the spouse’s accountant and lawyer? Has the other party provided honest reports on prior tax returns? Is there ownership of a business? If so, is it a cash business? Is there a Subchapter S Corporation?
With this basic information in hand, the investigator can pursue specific information from many sources. Here’s a quick list of information sources which should be reviewed.

1. Income Tax returns: This should be the first place to look for possible clues as to the existence of hidden assets. The return provides the roadmap to the discovery of income earning assets and asset sales. The return should also describe the source of income, whether it be interest, dividends, rental income and gain or loss from the sale of a stock. Each page of the tax return should be carefully examined for information.

2. Public Records: Public records are available in county courthouses, city halls and at state repositories. These records contain valuable information that is public and available to anyone who inquires. However, to be efficient with time and resources, one needs to be familiar with how to obtain the types of documents that will reveal asset holdings

Whether termed as obscuring, hiding, obfuscating, veiling or concealing assets, the many methods used by one spouse to prevent access by the other to cash, real, personal or business property can present a seemingly insurmountable wall for attorneys seeking parity or equitable division of marital assets for their client. Due diligence demands exhaustive measures when unethical and/or fraudulent arrangements exist or are suspected. While it may be difficult to bring to light unreported income and hidden assets, clues can be found which are very meaningful to a trained eye, and can open the facts for fair final property settlements.

References:

Abrams Yu and Associates, P.C. "Problems of Hidden Assets in Divorce Litigation." June 07, 2006. http://www.divorcenet.com/states/michigan/problems_of_hidden-assets (accessed April 30, 2009).

Elizabeth L. Bennett, Attorney at Law. "Hidden Assets in Divorce: Are They Discoverable?" Undated. http://www.divorcesource.com/PA/ARTICLES/bennett1.html (accessed April 29, 2009).

Hoover, Joe, and Anni Adkins and Dr. Lew Deitch. "How to Conduct an Assets Search - Part One." HowToInvestigate.com. Undated. http://howtoinvestigate.com/articles/assets_search1.html (accessed April 29, 2009).

Hoover, Joe, Anni Adkins, and Dr. Lew Deitch. "How to Conduct an Assets Search - Part Two - Locating Hidden Assets." HowToInvestigate.com. Undated. http://how to investigate.com/articles/assets_search2.html (accessed April 30, 2009).

Kohn, Mark: CPA, CVA. "Money Matters: Assets & Liabilities: Unreported Income and Hidden Assets." California Divorce.Info. May 1, 2009. http://californiadivorce.info/money.assetsliabilities.unreportedincome-... (accessed May 1, 2009).

Meyer, Cathy. "How to Identify Hidden Assets." About.Com Divorce Support. Undated. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/propertydistribution/ht/hiddenassets.html (accessed May 30, 2009).

Pearlman, Alan. Chicago Family Law Blog: Divorce and Hidden Assets. December 13, 2005. http://www.chicagofamilylawblog_com/-news-and-updates-divorce-and... (accessed April 30, 2009).

Zerman & Mogerman, LLC. "Discovery and Treatment of Hidden Assets in Divorce Cases." July 17, 2004. http://www.divorcenet.com/states/missouri/mo_art09 (accessed April 30, 2009).

Divorce - Court Room Tips

2009-07-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

When it comes to the Court Room, you will find this to be a pretty place. Once the divorce proceedings begin, the outcome of your divorce is in the hands of a total stranger - the Judge. You no longer have control. All decisions will now be made by a stranger. Of course this stranger may be having a bad day, not feeling well, or even have had a major fight with their spouse the night before. I know it's scary and may even seem unfair, but this is the real world and it happens all the time. This judge is now in control of the outcome of your trial.

Here are a few tips to help prepare you for the Court Room experience:

First, I strongly recommend you try to settle as many issues as possible before entering the Court Room. This means the judge won't be in control of everything.

Do not expect the Judge will always make decisions in your favor. There are three directions the judge can go when making a decision: Your way, your spouse's way, or the Judge's way. As you can see, two out three are not in your favor.

Discuss how you should act, and when to speak with you attorney before going into the courtroom. Do not speak unless asked to do so by the Judge.

When addressing the Judge with respect by addressing him/her as "Your Honor."

Never speak to or make comments to your spouse when you are before the Judge.

Leave all hostile and negative emotions at the door. Do not make faces or gestures when the judge or your spouse's attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.

Dress for success. Your attorney will have a certain strategy on how he/she wants you to be portrayed. Therefore, consult your attorney on how he/she wants you to dress.

Take notes. Don't leave anything to chance. Your attorney will be very busy during the process and cannot remember or write everything down.

Be prepared and stay organized. Bring as much information, documentation and any pertinent documents that you possibly can with you. It is better to have too much ammunition than not enough.

Be prepared to be in the court house for some time. You will sometimes wait for hours before your case is called.

You can get more divorce tips and strategies at www.DivorceAmmo.com

Dealing With Divorce in a Down Real Estate Market

2009-07-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

Finally coming to grips with the decision to divorce can be stressful enough, but when you add the problem of what to do with the marital home when houses aren’t selling, it can virtually blow up your stress meter.

Many divorce situations find one spouse keeping the home and refinancing the mortgage to pay off the other (also a difficult feat in light of the recent mortgage meltdown). That may or may not be a good option, depending on many factors.

In situations where the home must be sold, possibly because the mortgage payment is not manageable by one spouse or they are ready to move on and leave the memories behind, trying to sell on the downside may not be easy or desirable. Selling in a buyers market means that you may take less for your home or risk waiting for a considerable amount time for it to sell at your higher asking price.

Some other options that are available, but not always understood include the Lease Purchase, Lease Option and Subject To methods of buying and selling real estate. If you don’t need all of the equity in your home at the time of the divorce, these options might be of interest to you.

Of course, each has its pros and cons and as with any matters such as these, I recommend working with professionals like a real estate attorney and RE broker who are well versed in these options. These methods can have traps to them so you are highly advised not to go it alone.

Lease Purchase- This is where buyers “rent to own.” Many times buyers in this situation have cash, but credit problems do not allow them to get a mortgage at the present time. By doing a lease purchase, they usually present a nice chunk of cash for the down payment and are committing to buy your home at a later date, typically one or two years down the road, giving them time to work on repairing their credit issues. Rental payments may or may not include extra toward the down payment. There are no hard and fast rules here, everything is pretty much negotiable and allows for creative options on both sides.

Pros- This is an option that opens your market to more buyers. Sigurd Hoyer, is a licensed Real Estate broker with Real Estate Central in Kennesaw, Ga. (www.sigsblog.com) and has nearly 20 years experience. He says, “This is the best option for the seller as the buyer is technically obligated to purchase. It puts more control in the seller’s hands.” He goes on to explain that this is similar to a tenancy and you should follow the same due diligence as you would with a regular rental including checking references, past landlords, employers and their credit report (remembering that there will most likely be credit issues).

Cons- Remember you still own the property and are still legally obligated to pay the mortgage and any other expenses such as repairs (unless written to the contrary in the contract) on the property. Make sure that the deal cash flows (covers all costs) or be prepared to pay extra every month out of your own pocket. In addition, you still have liability on the property so carry adequate insurance. If the buyer does not purchase, you may have to sue to claim damages.

Next we have the Lease Option - Almost identical in its features to the lease option, the biggest difference is that the buyer has the “option” to buy, rather than the “obligation.” For those looking to purchase after a divorce this may be a good bet, but if you are on the selling side steer clear as this option puts more control in the buyers hands.

One other option that you may hear about is “Subject To” – This entails a buyer essentially taking over your payments subject to your current mortgage. Beware of this set-up. While investors may love this option and there are situations where this can be acceptable, Sig Hoyer advises, “Generally this is a move of desperation and not usually the best option for a seller. Use extreme caution when considering this.”

Moving out and moving on with your life after divorce, even in a down market, can happen with a little flexibility and creativity. Still always work with a real estate professional who is familiar with these techniques so you don’t get burned when it finally comes time to finalize the sale.

About the Author:
Lisa C. Decker is an expert in divorce financial matters. As a discreet problem-solver and trusted advisor she utilizes cutting edge tools and industry insight to guide her clients during one of life's most difficult challenges by helping them to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Assets.” Visit Lisa at www.DivorceFinancialInsight.com for details and get her FREE Audio Series - "5 Things You Must Know BEFORE You Sign on the Dotted Line!”

A Lack of Financial Clarity During Your Divorce Leads to Disaster!

2009-07-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

In this article I am going to show you how to arrive at a mutually beneficial outcome for your divorce, reduce the cost of it, reduce the time it takes to get one, save your kids, and reduce your stress. The goal is to come up with a fair and equitable settlement by quantifying and visualizing proposed settlement offers thereby becoming an empowered decision maker.

Arrive at a mutually beneficial outcome

So how do you arrive at a mutually beneficial outcome? It begins with having the right mindset about this. You have to assemble a team of experts (attorney, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ and a mental health professional) to help you get through this difficult time and obtain the benefits listed in the introduction. Doing it any other way is a mistake.

Gaining complete clarity about your financial picture is the key. You have to have all of the details because the devil is in the details. How can you make an informed decision about a settlement offer without having complete clarity of the outcome? The simple answer is you can’t and don’t let anyone talk you into thinking otherwise. You have to have a detailed analysis of where you are currently and then look at any settlement offers you are proposing to your spouse or ones they have submitted to you. This includes the tax ramifications.

Often times most of the divorce planning that I know of is done during mediation on a yellow pad and a white board! That is a total waste of time and money. Everyone is “winging it” with the hopes that you come to an agreement only to regret it later. Tax mistakes are often made resulting in an unfair settlement. Do not become a victim of this kind of planning.

Other mistakes include and not limited to: keeping the house and later discovering that you can’t afford it, structuring alimony improperly causing you to pay unnecessary taxes, relying on financial advice from friends and untrained professionals (CPA and financial advisors including Certified Financial Planners, insurance salesman and stockbrokers) who mean well and are not specifically trained in divorce financial planning, missing “hidden assets and income” that are an essential part of the divorce analysis, marital and premarital assets and the growth of them, the real value of a pension as an asset, who should keep which assets and debts, factoring in social security income, an accurate lifestyle assessment for each party, executive perks including the value of sick pay, unpaid vacation and stock option valuation, not knowing what the business is worth, not determining the need and the ability to pay alimony, unrealistic goals, not analyzing the financial and tax impact of drawing on retirement assets to support current income needs, and many others.

What you don’t know will hurt you financially. So insist on getting the answers to all of your questions.

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can work with your attorney and come up with forecasts of how your net worth and income will look net after taxes under various "what if" scenarios. They can help you choose what assets to keep and ones to let go of. In other words, they forecast the future value of assets (based upon realistic assumptions) and income and see what life may look like for you financially after the divorce is over in advance. They can help you avoid unexpected future tax liabilities from assets you accept. You can base your decisions on objective, accurate financial data and not on guesswork or vagueness.

Reduce the cost of your divorce

The average cost of a mediated divorce is less than $7,000 and $20,000 for a collaborative divorce and a whopping $78,000 for a drawn-out litigated one.*

The above costs do not include opportunity costs. That is the cost for having to “spend” time preparing for your divorce and going to meetings AND not earning money because of that. Here is an example:

A professional making $200 per hour is going through a litigated divorce that is being dragged out over a one-year period of time (modest amount of time in reality). He/she has put 50 hours of their time towards it. That equates to $10,000 that was “lost” because they were involved in their case when they could’ve been earning that money. Most people overlook this. Another common problem is that you can't make any financial decisions with the consent of your spouse. I live in Orlando, Florida and watched the value of houses decline substantially. People who were in dragged out divorces "lost" a lot of equity in their homes during that time. This could have been minimized.

Reduce time

The traditional divorce on average takes approximately two years to complete. Two years of being stuck in “no-man’s land” without any control of your situation - month after month of being in fear, having anger, regrets and anxiety. It doesn’t have to be that way. Your team can help you move quickly and efficiently through your divorce and get you out of your “pain and anxiety” by providing you with a clear picture about your finances so that you may make informed decisions about your financial future and move on with your life. Often times this may be done within three to six months depending on the complexity of your finances.

Save The Kids

By helping you gain clarity about your financial future, you will move quickly and efficiently through your divorce without using the kids as a bargaining chip that happens too often in traditional divorce cases. Don’t underestimate what they hear, know and feel.

Reduce Your Stress

Take the “mystery” and the fear that accompanies it out of your financial picture. Gain complete clarity about your finances in plain English. Having this newfound clarity will empower you so that you can make informed decisions about our financial future. You will gain peace of mind by utilizing your team’s expertise that will deliver that clarity.

There is a right way to serve a tennis ball and a wrong way. There is the right way to hit a golf ball and a wrong way. The same can be said about getting a divorce. Working with the right team is the right way to go. Be smart about it.

Having a team in place as mentioned above may sound very expensive yet in the long run had proven to be less expensive. Your team may find hidden assets, save you taxes, prevent you from making financial errors that could cost you dearly, and save you a lot of time, which is money.

*Source: Collaborative Divorce Could Be Society’s Wave of The Future by US News & World Report dated June 13, 2008.

About the Author
Scott Martin is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and a Certified Financial Planner and president of DivorceDirection, LLC who helps people avoid the financial pitfalls of divorce. He is divorced and knows from first hand experience all of the financial issues that must be examined for a fair and equitable settlement. For more information visit http://www.divorcedirection.com

Support Groups for Divorce Recovery

2009-06-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

What is a Divorce Recovery Support Group?

As the name suggests, it is a support group for divorcer. The group comprises of many divorcers who get together under the trained guidance of therapists and divorce counsellors to discuss their mutual situations. The group provides support and guidance to divorcers about their newfound life status. The group follows a format of discussion, introspection and frank communication.

Divorcers are encouraged to talk about their personal divorce experiences. A feeling of companionship is created. Divorcers share and give advice to each other. The divorce recovery support group is based on the knowledge that shared information and advice among fellow members have more impact than individual professional intervention. Divorcers get to know where they went wrong and where they are going wrong. The group also acts as a meeting place. Divorcers meet like-minded people and are able to strike friendships.

Objectives

Set Short Term and Long Term Goals: The divorce recovery support group helps a divorcer to devise a new plan for his or her new life. It helps the divorcer to adjust to the new situation. It propels the divorcer to look within and chart new priorities and expectations. These include:

Dealing with Child Custody Issues: The group helps the divorcer to come to terms with reality. It teaches the individual acceptance especially in the case of child custody. The divorcer realizes that he or she should not divorce the child. The child should always form top priority no matter what the situation. The divorcer has to keep in constant touch with the child. The divorcer outlines following guidelines after opening up to members of the recovery group:

Continuous direct communication through physical visits, emails, phones and letters

Conducting a cordial relationship with ex in front of child

Not criticizing or abusing, blaming ex in front of child

Maintaining and following court ordered visitation schedules regularly

Being actively involved in child's life

Ensuring child knows everything about your new life

Developing Financial Goals: The divorcer has to create new financial targets. These fall into three categories of short-term and immediate targets, medium and long-term goals. The divorcer determines these goals in accordance with importance. He or she has to decide what has to be achieved at once and what can be achieved slowly. The recovery group helps the divorcer realize that the achievement of short-term goals ensures the fulfilment of long-term goals.

Short-term Goals

Setting up individual bank account

Reverting to maiden name on important documents

Changing residence and leasing a house which will have a separate room for the child

Applying for individual credit card

Seeking a change in professional work status

Reducing expenses

Long-term and Medium Goals

Meeting new people and developing/ widening social circle

Dating leading to physically intimate encounters

Remarrying

Getting involved in enjoyable hobbies and interests

Making new investments i.e. purchasing a new house

Investing in bonds and financial schemes to increase personal income

Setting up a child maintenance trust

Physical Changes: The recovery group holds that a divorcer has to let go of emotional baggage before starting a new chapter of life. Getting a physical makeover forms a big part of this initiative. The support group forces a divorcer to quit depression and regain self-esteem. Usually, groups of divorcers visit a parlour and get a makeover done at the same time. This increases the communal feeling of not being alone. It also allows the divorcer to share private marital information in a non-structured environment.

The logic is that a physical change helps the divorcer to regain his or her self-belief and confidence. Adjustment on an emotional and cognitive level can only come if the individual feels confident about physical self.

Online Divorce Recovery Groups: Nowadays online divorce recovery groups are making headway. These groups do not focus on a single area. They deal with divorcers during and after divorce. They provide online lectures on life post-divorce. The online classes also help divorcers to be informed about divorce law and amendments.

Usually, divorcers and individuals intending to get divorced, divorce counsellors and therapists form part of the group. Online recovery groups afford privacy and convenience. It often happens that divorcers or couples trying to file papers feel embarrassed about face-to-face contact. It could also be that some divorcers feel ashamed to talk about personal feelings and thoughts in front of other people. Online groups step in allowing the individual to heal oneself privately.

The group provides information about legal procedures and documents. It also garners support for populous issues of child custody and spousal maintenance.

Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: James Walsh
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

What Must Be Done To Get A Good Divorce Lawyer?

2009-06-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

A divorce is an immensely stressful affair. The marriage that defines who you are is now finished. Decisions that impact your life are being made such as the division of your assets, alimony, and child custody.

But the most difficult decision of all is your choice of a divorce lawyer. The outcome of the divorce is determined by your decision. A poor choice on your part can potentially ruin your life.

You need to choose a lawyer who's an experienced specialist in family law. Do some research when conducting your search for a lawyer. Don't hesitate to ask acquaintances, friends, and relatives. A good divorce lawyer should have no trouble giving you lots of great references.

When you interview a lawyer, tell him the facts of your case and ask for an estimate of the total cost of the case. Lawyers typically charge by the hour and may ask you to disburse a retainer fee up front. Interview a number of lawyers before making your final choice.

Subjects to inquire about are:

1.) The years of experience that he has practiced in family law.

2.) The exact steps of the divorce process, the time frame of the case as well related legalities.

3.) What the filing fee will be as well as other additional fees such as the fees of legal assistants.

4.) The retainer agreement policy of the lawyer.

5.) The billing interval of the lawyer.

A good lawyer will have no difficulty answering all of your questions in easy to understand lay terms. He should readily anticipate many of your questions and should easily bring up additional concerns that you have not considered.

He should have a personality that you can comfortably work with. If there is anything that you dislike about him, interview some more lawyers.

The lawyer selection process should be completed before your case starts. Your case may be harmed if your lawyer is changed after the case has begun. You ought to be working as a team when the case begins so do your best to assist and cooperate with him.

About the Author:
Marc Sandford
Looking for more free information and advice? Don't let your divorce ruin your life.
Divorce Strategies For Men: http://www.divorceadviceformentoday.com
Get the Tips, Information and the Divorce Advice that you need: http://www.divorceadviceformentoday.com

Child Custody – Does Your Income Affect Your Legal Ability to Gain Custody of Your Child?

2009-06-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

It is common to see people make the argument that if you cannot afford to take care of your child then you should not be allowed to have custody. There are also those who believe that custody should be decided on which parent makes the most money. While that may seem like a proper argument to some, other's believe income should have no bearing on custody matters. But all that matters is how the court will view this matter.

It truly amazes me that we are bombarded by TV, news, internet, and everywhere we look with people who believe that because they make more money than the other parent they should be awarded custody of their child. There is far more to being a great parent than providing cash. Seriously, if they are that concerned they can kick down extra cash to the other parent to help their child have a relationship with the other parent. Of course that isn’t really the issue is it?

Income differences between parents are not accepted in court as a reason to award custody or visitation schedules. Plain and simple. That isn’t to say that the ability to provide a good home is not an issue. But the difference in incomes or lack of is not reason to make custody decisions. If you have the means to care for your child, including child support, alimony, public assistance, roommates, and any other creative means, then income is not an issue.

The good news is that judges are not going to spend much time on this issue in a courtroom. If one parent raises the issue a judge is most likely going to ask about it to verify that the child will be in a safe and appropriate environment. You should be prepared to answer truthfully but shortly. The reason you want to be short about this is that you have limited time with the judge and you will want to spend that time on more productive issues.

So do not let the other parent scare you into thinking that they have a big edge because they out earn you. The truth is that if they can get you to focus on that issue, they can get you on the larger issue of custody and make you feel relieved to get something. Stay focused on your most important issue, the visitation schedule, and be ready to refocus the courts attention there instead. You will like the results much better if you do.

Ed Brooks knows firsthand how painful a High Conflict Child Custody battle can be. Ed has created a site where parents can get advice on how to handle all aspects of a high conflict Child Custody battle.
http://www.child-custody-forum.com

The Truth About Common Law Marriage

2009-06-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

A great deal of people believe if they live together 6 to 10 years they will be considered married in the eyes of the law, but the fact is, it’s not true. There is a difference between common law marriage and cohabitation. In some cases if you are a cohabitant, you could be considered single and in some cases if you are common law married you are considered married as if you did it the traditional way. So the question is how do I know if I am legally married or considered single under the law. Only certain states recognize Common law marriages, including the District of Columbia, Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas and Utah. If you live in a Common law situation it rests upon you to find out if your state recognizes your relationship as it does legal marriage in the law. If your state recognizes your common law marriage, you and your mate must enter into a written or oral agreement to live as a husband and wife, and appear to others, as you are a married couple. Introduced to others as a wife or a husband and are considered a married couple. How long you have been together will determine if you are recognized under state law. At this time, for the most part Common law marriages typically are limited to heterosexual couples. If you live in a state that recognizes common relationships and do not want the state to consider you as married, you need to see your attorney to draw up a document that establishes the facts and protects the parties involved.

About the author:
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com

Seven Sets of Documents You Need For Your Divorce

2009-05-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

This article is designed to give someone who is considering or planning for the possibility of divorce an idea of what documents are needed. Even if you believe your case is ultimately agreed to and settled without a trial, you will be in a much better position if you already have the relevant documents in your possession. Better safe than sorry.

You should locate the relevant documents, make copies, and keep them somewhere secure, like your office or with a friend. You will then have access when it is needed.

Here are the most important seven categories of documents you should focus on.

1. Income Documents

Your spouse's income is relevant to a number of issues in a divorce case. At a minimum, get your spouse's last paycheck statement and your most recent tax return. Ideally, you would have access to all tax returns filed during the marriage, along with all supporting documents and schedules.

2. Bank Records

The monthly bank statements are very important and can lead you to other documents (cancelled checks, deposit slips, registers, etc.) that you also may need to obtain. Get at least the most recent statement for each account that is either held in your name, your spouse's name, or jointly. If possible, get copies of all statements going back to the date of marriage. In most cases this volume of records is not required, but in some cases these records can be very helpful and even necessary to analyze the case.

3. Retirement and Other Investment Records

Often the biggest asset a couple will own will be a 401k or pension account. So you will definitely want the most recent account statement and ideally all statements dating back to the time of marriage. Also, the last statement prior to marriage can be very significant (especially in community property states) to show the pre-marriage balance.

4. Credit Card statements

Again the most recent statements are a necessity, but a lot of important evidence can be garnered from the historical statements. In some cases, the credit card statements will show questionable transactions that can be of real evidentiary value. For example, they might show evidence of gifts or dinners purchased for paramours, questionable hotel rentals, or other dubious purchases.

5. Real estate documents

The most important real estate documents are the Deed of Trust and Warranty Deed for any property you currently own. If you have the entire file from (the giant stack of paper you got after the closing) for each real estate purchase or refinance transaction during the marriage it can be helpful. Additionally, documents evidencing real estate owned by either spouse prior to marriage can be significant, especially in community property states.

6. Mortgage statements & any Other Debts

You should get the most recent statements showing the current payoff balance for any other debts. For those debts that have only a coupon book with no regularly generated statements showing the current balance, you will probably need to contact the creditor by phone for the current payoff information.

7. Relevant emails or other correspondence

Correspondence or emails can be extremely helpful (or damaging, depending on your viewpoint) pieces of evidence in the case. Whether the communication is between spouses or between a spouse and some third-party, the communication is potentially relevant. Two common examples would be where your spouse makes a damaging admission about some issue in the case, or communications with paramours.

Conclusion

Determining which documents you need to obtain for your divorce case can be a very time-consuming and daunting task. Use this list as a starting point and discuss your situation with a quality divorce attorney. This person should be able to advise you specifically on the documents you need to obtain in order to protect your interests.

by: Scott Morgan

Divorce Support for Men. Dealing With Divorce and Separation

2009-05-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

With the statistics showing that divorce is at an all time high the level of support for divorcees has skyrocketed to help people get through this very difficult time in their lives and find a way to move on. Unfortunately that level of support is extremely skewed to help women, not men dealing with divorce! So with divorce support for men so low what does a man after divorce do? OR perhaps more importantly what should they NOT do!

The first problem most guys face is coping with the reality of being a divorcee. This can sometimes take some time to sink in and before the realization settles men can go through a wide range of emotions and actions. Many can refuse to believe they are really divorced, in their hearts they are still married even if they do not feel in love and others feel in love but feel separated. To cope with these things men will usually do one of two things: Nothing or Everything! When they do nothing they can become deeply depressed and a recent statistic shows they are much more likely than the woman to commit suicide, whether this stems from the lack of support for men compared to women or just that men are more susceptible to these things is unclear but since men are usually creatures of action doing the opposite can be very detrimental to their mental health.

The opposite effect is that the man tries to cope with this new situation by doing as much as he can with his life so he does not have to focus on his emotions. A great focus on work or on socializing or some other activity to keep himself busy becomes the main goal in the mans life. While this can be better than the lethargy of depression men often do things they regret during this period such as; sleeping around to fill the void of intimacy, alcoholism, getting into fights, and of course not resolving their emotional conflict.

To compound these issues women are more likely to have a social network of friends they can rely on to help them emotionally whereas the man will not have the relationships with his friends to talk about such things and the man himself may not feel comfortable looking for help from other men even professionals.

So where is a divorced man suppose to go for help? There may be no perfect advice for men after divorce and while we can generalize on the character of males we are all different enough that we all need different solutions. The best advice I have heard however that man is is a natural problem solver, give a man the information and tools he needs to solve a problem and he will eventually build something that works. Divorce support for men may simply be giving a man as much easily accessed information so he can occupy himself with solving his own problems. Men dealing with divorce and separation may always be seen as lesser problem than the women but thanks to the internet it is much easier for men to access the help they need without the social stigma and embarrassment they might feel in real life.

Article Source: http://article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Hengster
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How the Internet Causes Divorce

2009-05-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

In Great Britain one of the common reasons for divorce is the Internet. An important polling firm in England has discovered that 1 out of 10 people (Around 90,000) has claimed the Internet as one of the major reasons for ending a marriage that often ends in divorce. The findings of the poll indicate that married men and women both experience hardship when their mates become addicted to the Internet. Pornography and Gambling sites as well as Chat Rooms and Searches for old friends from back in the day when things were simple. The most endangered of becoming divorced are generally young men and women between 25 and 35 years old, the most computer literate group, as older men and women especially blue collar workers are less likely to suffer because they are computer illiterate. Only the more educated are likely to have marriage problems with the Internet. There are always exceptions but for the most part this is the rule. The good news is if you are computer literate and the Internet had destroyed your marriage you can apply for divorce online and meet someone brand new who you can divorce later!

by: Jeffrey Broobin
About the author:
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com

Divorce Mediation A Relatively Speedy and Low Cost Alternative

2009-05-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to have an easy divorce? A low cost divorce? Or do all divorce settlements necessarily end in hard feelings and financial ruin? The truth is that divorce can be low-cost and easy… or it can be a long ordeal that can drag on for months. No matter how emotional things get, just remember that you always have a choice and that your willingness to negotiate through mediation can help speed up the whole process, thereby minimizing the pain inflicted on your family.

Mediation is a legal process in which a trained, impartial third-party will offer divorce help and support by assisting both parties to reach an agreement. A couple preparing to divorce should not rely solely on a mediator. Rather, the husband and wife should consult their respective attorneys about their specific procedures and legal consequences of the mediation process.

If mediation is not successful, then the case must go to trial. In most cases, it is best to avoid a trial as attorney’s fees, alone, can pile up if delaying tactics are used. Furthermore, studies show that people feel more satisfied with mediated Separation Agreements than with those that are ordered by the court. Finally, since the process is more civil and less emotionally grueling, mediation minimizes any trauma to the children.

Life after divorce can be a fresh new start. Mediation can not only save time and money, but can also reduce emotional and psychological baggage for everyone.

by: Nathan Dawson
About the author:
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.coma great online source for finance information.

Preparing for Divorce Court

2009-05-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

Although it is highly preferable to arrive at a legal separation agreement or divorce settlement through some form of mediation, there are times when a couple cannot reach an agreement and the case simply must go to trial.

If you decide to have a trial, you must first fully realize that it is unlikely to be an easy divorce. Additionally, with lawyer’s fees on the rise, say goodbye to the idea of having a low cost divorce and to thousands of dollars of your hard-earned money. Be prepared to postpone your life after divorce for another year, and possibly longer. In some states, judges have been known to take more than a year to even assign a court date.

The following divorce advice may help you know what to expect when you take your case to divorce court:

Remember that a divorce trial is public. Be on time and try to behave with dignity. Resist the temptation to get angry and emotional.
Be honest with your lawyer and with the court. Knowing that you are acting with full integrity will give you confidence when making your appeals
Work with your lawyer as a team to create a winning strategy.
Join a support group. Doing this will help you to work out the emotional stuff outside of the courtroom and outside of your lawyer’s consultation time.
Dress conservatively. Keep your appearance well-groomed, simple and light. Avoid extravagance.
Speak clearly and audibly. If your words cannot be heard by everyone in the courtroom, you may be asked to repeat what you said.
Coping with divorce is often more difficult for those who need to have a trial. If there is still a possibility for mediation, do your best to work with your spouse and with both of your attorneys. At best, the professionals that you and your spouse hired are trying to offer their best divorce help to all concerned.

by: Nathan Dawson
About the author:
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.coma great online source for finance information

Divorce and Alimony Formula

2009-05-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

In divorce, a common question is, "what is the alimony formula". Well, there really is no set alimony formula for divorce. This is in complete contrast to child support, which is decided based upon a specific formulas in each state. Alimony is based on factors and those factors are decided through divorce negotiation or by a divorce judge. But, there is no alimony formula available to your divorce attorney or you to determine in advance what alimony will be paid in your case.

What does a divorce court look at to determine alimony? Those issues do vary by state. But, there are also many alimony factors that are common from state to state. So, although there is no specific alimony formula for you to rely on, there are alimony factors that you can look at to help you determine what the alimony might be in your case.

In divorce, some of the alimony factors that a judge might look at include the following. First is the length of your marriage. If the parties have been married for one year, the court's attitude towards a request for alimony will be very different than if the parties have been married for twenty years. Because the length of marriage varies so much in all divorces, it is not possible to plug this factor into an alimony forumla to determine the alimony amount.

Another factor affecting the award of alimony is employment status. Obviously, if the spouse seeking alimony has been unemployed or underemployed for a number of years to care for young children, the home, or the spouse, that is a factor that will militate in that spouse's favor if he or she is seeking alimony. On the other hand, if that spouse has the ability to obtain employment that will more than adequately meet his or her needs, the court might think a little differently about awarding alimony to that party. Other factors that are considered closely with this factor include level of education, job experience, the age of children in the household, and work history.

A major factor that can affect an award of alimony is the amount of property to be retained or divided by the parties. If the spouse seeking alimony has been a stay at home parent, but will have signifcant assets after divorce or has separate assets, like a trust fund, the court's attitude towards the award of alimony will be affected. The court will certainly view a request for alimony under these circumstances much different than a request made by an individual who is receiving no assets in the divorce or who does not have any separate property.

The health of the party seeking alimony is a major factor that can impact a court's decision in awarding alimony. If the spouse seeking alimony has a debilitating physical condition that impacts whether or how much they can work, the court will not want to impoverish that party after divorce and the court will be more likely to use alimony to address at least basic living needs.

One other factor that should be considered by the divorce court and by the parties, is the taxability of the alimony payments. In most instances, if there is no specific provision to the contrary, spousal support payments are taxable to the recipient and tax deductible to the payor. The tax benefit obtained by spreading out economic wealth in this fashion can be significant and should be discussed in depth with your divorce attorney.

One issue that is not always considered by the court, but should be discussed with your divorce attorney, is that alimony payments are, in general, not dischargeable in bankruptcy. If there is any possibility that the party who is to pay alimony will be filing for bankruptcy, the divorce attorneys will negotiate very hard on both sides to maximize the final benefit to their client in divorce.

It should thus be apparent that in divorce, there can be no easy alimony forumla, no matter what state you live in. It is impossible to plug these and other factors into a mathematical equation to arrive at a "correct" alimony formula. It is necessary that the divorce court, or the divorce attorneys review how these varied and different factors affect both parties in the divorce and then arrive at a solution that encompasses all of the divorce issues, including property settlement and alimony. They cannot simply set up an alimony formula that would work for all parties.

by: Jean Mahserjian
About the author:
Attorney Jean Mahserjian is the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of separation and divorce. To download free excerpts from her family law books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com

A Divorce Glossary

2009-05-24T14:05:00.002-07:00

Divorce lawyers and law firms can provide a great deal of divorce information and divorce advice; but sometimes, all that legal jargon can be confusing to say the least, not to mention intimidating. Getting a good, low cost divorce settlement requires planning and research.

So, why not start here? We have provided you with a good glossary of legal terms related to the process of getting a divorce:

Alimony
A regular support payment by one divorced spouse to the other

Annulment
A court declaration stating that a legal marriage never existed

Arbitration
Having a disputed matter settled by a third party who is not a judge.

Attachment
A court-ordered seizure of a debtor’s property.

Attorney at Law
A state-licensed advocate who is hired to prepare, manage and try a case in court.

Alternative Dispute Resolution
A process of negotiation, mediation and arbitration, in lieu of a trial, as a way to resolve issues pertaining to a judgment of divorce.

Case Information Statement (CIS)
A financial document specifying the details of your respective incomes, expenses, assets, and debts.

Child Support
Money paid by one ex-spouse to another toward their child’s expenses.

Common Law Marriage
A marriage without a license or ceremony in which the couple cohabitated for a minimum number of years (varies from state to state).

Default
Failure to do something (such as make a payment) on time.

Discovery
The legal procedures used to gather all the facts necessary to settle a case or to prepare the case for trial.

Dissolution of Marriage (Divorce)
The legal separation of a married couple so that each one may be free to marry again.

Equitable Distribution
A fair division of the assets acquired during your marriage.

Inventory and Appraisement
A list of jointly-owned property along with the current value of each one.

Joint Legal Custody
An agreement in which a divorced couple share the rights and responsibilities of making major decisions about their child’s life.

Joint Physical Custody
The shared right to have a child live with one or the other parent at different times of the week or year.

Judgement of Divorce
A legal document following a settlement or trial that grants a divorce and states the court’s decisions with regard to alimony, support, custody, visitation rights, and equitable distribution.

Maintenance
Alimony or child support payments

Marital Settlement Agreement
An out-of-court agreement that resolves all issues surrounding a divorce.

Mediation
A process by which a dispute is resolved and an agreement between two parties is reached with the assistance of a disinterested third party known as a mediator.

Non-Marital Property
Property that belongs exclusively to either the husband or the wife and, as such, cannot be divided between the two.

No-Fault Divorce
A divorce granted with the mutual agreement of two spouses, or when one spouse has left the marriage for a certain period of time (varies by state).

Rehabilitative Alimony
Alimony that helps the ex-spouse to become self-reliant.

Separation
The absence of one spouse from the household before a divorce.

Separation Agreement
A temporary agreement with regard to support, child custody and property for the period between the onset of separation and the granting of a divorce.

Spouse
A husband or wife

Support
Payment due to one spouse from the other regarding housing, food, clothing, and other expenses.

Transfer
To switch legal ownership from one person to another.

Verification Statement
An oath declaring that the information stated in a document is true.

Visitation
The right for a non-custodial parent to visit his or her child.

by: Nathan Dawson
About the author:
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.coma great online source for finance information.

Divorce and Health Insurance Benefits

2009-05-24T14:05:00.001-07:00

Divorce causes major issues with health insurance benefits. Many families have employer provided and/or paid for health insurance benefits that cover the entire family. It is not uncommon to see situations where the other spouse is a stay at home parent, with absolutely no access to health insurance benefits, or employed at a job with either no health insurance benefits available or those benefits available at a substantial cost. After a divorce, the spouse with the family health insurance coverage can no longer cover the other parent. They are no longer "family" members who can take advantage of one health insurance policy. How to then ensure that everyone stays insured does become an issue for negotiation and/or divorce litigation.

If both parties do not have health insurance benefits available and if the cost of obtaining those health insurance benefits for the other party after a divorce become prohibitive, there is one way to continue benefits without additional cost. That way is to enter into a separation agreement, but delay the divorce. That way, the parties actually do remain married and they can stay on the same health insurance plan even thought they are separed. The parties can consent to waiting for one, two or more years before either one files for a divorce. While the parties will remain married, their property, custody, and support issues will be addressed in their separation agreement. Under some circumstances, this is an optimal resolution. For example, what if both parties want one spouse to remain at home for several more years with young children, but they do still want to separate and divorce? This option works for them. They can separate, agree upon getting a divorce and all of the terms that they have to agree upon, but delay the final divorce so that they can keep cost effective health insurance benefits in place.

The above example can provide some difficulties that must be discusse in detail with your divorce attorney. For example, if you separate but do not divorce, your federal tax filing status may be affected. Also, in some states, it is not as easy as in other states to enforce a separation agreement. Or, in yet other states, it is possible for one spouse to take the advantages provided by the agreement for a year or two and then go to court and seek entirley different forms of financial relief in a divorce action. Only a divorce attorney licensed to practice in your state can advise you on these issues.

Another option for couples divorce is COBRA coverage. COBRA is a federal law which mandates that a person covered under a health insurance policy be given the right to continue that coverage, at their own cost, for a set time period if certain requirements exist. For example, if you obtain a divorce and your spouse had family health insurance coverage through his employer, the employer would have to provide COBRA coverage for you after the divorce. That COBRA coverage would require that you have the same health insurance policy, although your coverage would now be individual and not family. You would have to pay the employer's cost for that individual policy.

It is not uncommon for a stay at home spouse or a spouse who has less income or employment options to obtain COBRA coverage and to negotiate that their spouse pay for that coverage for a specified time period after the divorce. In doing so, this gives the spouse who did not have coverage available some time to either obtain employment with coverage or become financially settled and able to afford their own coverage.

by: Jean Mahserjian
About the author:
Attorney Jean Mahserjian is the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of separation and divorce. To download free excerpts from her family law books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com

Negotiating a Good Divorce Settlement

2009-05-24T13:50:00.000-07:00

Divorce can get complicated with all its legal and financial details and disagreements. It’s no wonder that you are seeking divorce help and divorce support. The most important piece of information to learn from the get-go about how to get a divorce is that the outcome depends on you. Your willingness to negotiate and seek mediation can actually make it a low cost divorce. It might even turn out to be an easy divorce if you stay flexible, yet firm about your rights.

Going through a trial is seldom a good idea, particularly with regard to women and divorce. Financially, men usually have the upper hand since they are traditionally the bread-winners and, as such, they usually get paid more. That gives them more buying power to hire the better lawyer; if the case goes to trial, a wife in this sort of situation usually finds herself headed toward financial ruin. For this reason, life after a divorce trial can be even harder than it was before.

Here is a little divorce advice that will make coping with divorce less difficult: spare yourself and your children the headache—mediate.

Mediation gives both parties the power to negotiate alimony, child support, custody and an equitable division of assets and liabilities. In this way, you can use any divorce information you acquire to increase your negotiating power.

When trying to negotiate a good divorce settlement, keep the following in mind:

When you are not satisfied with any of your spouse’s terms, prepare a logical rebuttal, rather than get defensive and emotional. By all means, speak up!
Be willing to try and consider your soon-to-be-estranged spouse’s wellbeing.
If things get ugly, remember that a change in your approach (yes, it’s hard) can turn things around 180 degrees.
Just do your best to avoid having the case go to trial. The benefits of mediating your own agreement include keeping your marital problems confidential, sparing yourself of open court proceedings and the related costs, speeding up the process and not to mention helping to make it all easier on the kids.

by: Nathan Dawson
About the author:
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.coma great online source for finance information.